Portrait of my life...

How to Let Myself Go

2011-02-19T15:14:00.003+08:00

Making all the wrong decisions

Look at my untraceable steps

Phantoms in my mind

Weighing down on my dreams

Trying to hold on

To whatever I used to have

But I've lost sight of all that

Lost the determination and focus

Misplaced my motivation

You're asking me to keep holding on

But I don't know if I can

Make it through

The nights just get longer

I wish I only knew

How to let myself go.

For Granted

2010-07-27T01:09:00.002+08:00

When something you once took for granted disappears, the feeling of loss is so profound, you can't even begin to feel it. You don't realise the true immensity of the situation at hand. You don't know just how much you'll suffer in the days, weeks, months to come. You don't understand that life can never get back to the way you once knew it to be.

And yet, once it all begins to sink in, you scramble. You try with every possible way, to hold on to everything you once had. It is so hard, so difficult to pretend as if the hurt isn't pulsating from every nerve in your body. You try, and with every day that goes by, you try just a little bit harder. And pretty soon, you're throwing all caution in the wind, doing every single thing you can, because you just want to rid yourself of the anguish that has become so routine to you.

All because of something you once took for granted.

Hold Me

2010-07-27T01:08:00.000+08:00

I try to tell you I'm not worth it. But there's no one there to believe me. No on there to trust me. Instead, all you want to do is to hold me. Hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. And you make me melt. Sweeping away all my fears and worries. Fears and worries that are ever ready to fly back into the vestiges of my mind, to strike uncertainty in my soul. I want to believe, but I need convincing. So much more convincing. So continue to hold me. Hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

Fantasy World

2010-05-16T18:48:00.001+08:00

Been living in a fantasy world of my own the past 5 months. Can’t deny that I’d been hoping everything in my dreams would come true. Sad to say it’s all gone the other way, and now it’s all being ripped away from me hard and fast.

Maybe I should have quit while I was still ahead, when I could have done it slow. But I stupidly believed that everything would work out in the end. And in my dreams, it would never have happed this way. And every night that passes me by, the hurt inside me grows, gradually swallowing my heart, lessening the feeling.

And yet all I want to do is cry

I Think Of You

2010-05-16T18:45:00.000+08:00

I Think Of You

When I listen to this particular radio station;
When I hear your favourite songs;
When I see the brands you like;
When I see someone wearing the same hat you like;
When I lie in bed alone at night;
When that time of the month comes along;
When I see someone wearing the same kind of clothes;
When someone mentions the subject you study;
When it’s cold out and I need a sweater;
When I’m under my comforter;
When I see related things on Facebook;
When I enter a club;

And,
When I see you.

Can't You See?

2010-04-14T05:08:00.002+08:00

It's when I'm pushing you away that I need the most help. Can't you see that when I say I'm okay, I really need you to ask me again how I am? I need to know if you'd be concerned enough to ask a second time, to really wonder if I'm alright, and not just to accept what I say.

Can't you see that when my eyes are red and puffy and I say I haven't been crying, I really need you to hold me and tell me everything will be okay? I need to know if you love me enough to ask no questions, and not just turn away and hide from my troubles.

Can't you see that when I've fallen so silent, for so long, I really need you to just sit with me and confide in me? I need to know if you trust me enough to make me a part of yourself, and not just treat me like anyone else.

Actions

2010-04-14T05:03:00.001+08:00

Does the need for constant affirmation make me weak and desperate? Does the want for someone to hold and to hold me make me afraid and sad? Does the cries for help make me one to be ostracized and a failure?

Do my actions really define me as a person?

And I'm in Love

2010-02-22T17:18:00.002+08:00

When it's too late to turn back
To rewind to that moment
The one which could have changed
Changed me and my entire life

When the image of you
Stuck in my mind
Blurs and fades
And I never thought I could
Be this close to losing

Completely losing control
Over what I say
Do, think, feel, write
I don't know what to do anymore
And it's so terrifying

When it's something never experienced
Something that's never happened
Not once or before
Not something I believed could
Could have happened
Not to someone like me

But it has,
And I'm in love.

Rainbows and Unicorns

2009-10-04T20:08:00.000+08:00

Feathered resistance of imminent migraines
Head sideways on the table
Going as low as the table can go
Watching lit bars move up and down
Flickering the seconds past
No feeling in my heart
No pulse
Is this a sign of a heart attack?
Grabbing at the money
Thinking corrupt thoughts
Words written on the walls
Reflecting photographs of long lost misery
False smiles and posed eyes
Sick and tired of kissing ass

Rainbows and unicorns

Only To Me

2009-09-16T01:03:00.002+08:00

Was looking around those eyes
Searching for my answer
To my truth
Turned around and around
Wondered what went wrong

Was waiting for my superman
To lose myself in his arms
Feeling low
Couldn’t find a familiar face
Missed out on the clue

Was beating to a still room
Heart almost to a stop
Got lost
Reaching out for the keys
Felt only a hole instead

Was lying on the table
Fighting against the splinters
Pushed hard
The tears refused to arrive
Dirtying the pooled hair

Was looking at my reflection
Black against the glass
And finally
The tears flowed on and on
Heart wrenching only to me

Just One More Time

2009-07-07T16:14:00.001+08:00

Cant stay home alone
All I feel is mounting grief
Tears over how I am alone
How I love with no return

From the drops that flow
Losing my breath when I see
Hold me back
Hold me tight

Its taking everything
To lift my eyes
Off the ground
Off the reflection
Of what used to be

Going to count to ten
Going to breathe in
Closing my eyes one more time
Just to see if this time
My wishes work
Just one more time

It Was Not

2009-05-21T11:24:00.003+08:00

Tears pooling
Onto edges of pillows
Tears sliding
Falling hard on the sheets

Stars fading
But the thoughts linger
Pushing sleep further
Slipping around here

Sun shining
Through an empty pane
Hair circling frustration
Upon anger and hurt

Smells of lost cologne
Far away and expensive
Drift towards dreams
Of what might have been

And
It was not.

Untouched by Time

2009-04-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

Staying forever adrift
Eating up the clouds
Steady, steady, and
Every once in a while,
Bump, bump, bump.

The only window open
In the enforced darkness
Just an oval of light
The only white light
Coming from above the clouds,
Above everything else

A sea of whiteness just beyond
Outside the freezing glass.
Slowly turning into a royal navy
Moving from day into evening
Above the land
Untouched by time.

Stares

2009-04-12T17:32:00.002+08:00

Uninhabited stares,
Not disguised in the least.
Thinly laced sneering,
Amusement and perverseness.
So many pairs of eyes.
Serving only to inspire fear,
That basic human emotion,
Which one feels in unknown territory,
Before strangers.

That tremendous amounts of
Black and white,
Blurred only in the terminal
Where the familiar undress
And the strangers dress.
Only in the desert
Filled with water and plants.
An oasis, temporarily,
Currently.

Lacking in Western manners
Where it is male before female
Where the animals are worth more
More than the females put on display
Before strangers in a strange territory
In a familiar setting
Before the uninhibited stares
Specifically from their own countrymen.

Inspiring anxiety
In those gorgeous eyes,
Covered up except for.
Emphasis there, and only there.
And all you can see is
Fear.

I Love SF

2009-04-08T14:04:00.003+08:00

Utter peacefulness in
Just walking,
Walking down streets,
All straight, parallel and perpendicular.
Neat intersections filled with
Black, grey and green fire escapes,
Red and orange brick buildings,
Pink, blue and purple houses
All in a higgily-piggily row.

Meeting Queen Anne types,
Bowing to the grace of Victorians,
Appreciating the Parisian and Italian,
Unnoticeable unless your heads
Are pointed skyward,
Ready to dream.

The ups and downs.
As in any real relationship.
Hills, some steeper than others,
Make tough work
Tightening the glutes
As only climbing hills can.

To each his or her own,
Everyone with individual characters,
Mixing and blending the colours
With a perfectionist's flair.
And I, falling in love with
Every other one
Eye candy to the dreamers
Who look up, mostly.

This being the city
With the same initials
As the Italian race car
The king of fast cars
Scuderia Ferrari
That's right,
I love SF,
Hella.

Reservations

2009-03-18T17:05:00.002+08:00

Something strange out there
Unable to forget the
Silent caress of your words
Reeling me into you eyes

No need for conversation
Already onto telepathy
Soothing songs for the soul
Sighing along with the sounds
Of the sweet surrender
Of you strumming

All of a sudden
Hating the silence
Between you and me
Hanging, growing,
Arriving, shredding,
Oh, the tension rising,
Faster, harder,
Unable to shoulder.
It's breaking me,
Wearing me down,
Gradually,
Unable to feel.

It hurts, oh, it hurts.
All I wanted,
All I want,
Is to go back to
The old silence,
The silence filled
With the sound
Of our hearts.

Endless Days

2009-03-18T00:38:00.002+08:00

The chaos of
Endless chatter,
Babies whining,
The bored sighing,
And the time goes
Ticking past.

Where time freezes,
Backward and forward.
Playing with the mind,
Artificial lights create
Artificial day,
Endless days.

The same rush is the same
Slow-motion movements.
No smoking everywhere.
Standing, sitting, leaning,
Mainly, everyone is,
Waiting.

For the endless day
To be over.
For their three hours
Of slow-motion movement
To be all over.
To move into the next appliance.

Where clouds and stars
Whiz by,
An illusion,
Televisions on every window.

You only wish you were
Going some place new.
Its all in the mind,
All a mind game.
Never to find out
The truth of the place,
Of the past.

An illusion of
Travel across oceans,
Travel across time,
Travel across space,
Travel through endless,
Artificial days.

Haikus in Abu Dhabi

2009-03-05T17:43:00.002+08:00

Use them in cars, bars
Everywhere, anywhere and anytime
Hot, cold, chocolate!

-

Green, tinge of yellow
Blue in different shades
The great tiled mosaic.

-

Coffee, bran, muffins
The smell of breakfast fills me
Tempts, but I deny.

Haikus

2009-01-17T03:32:00.003+08:00

Excited, I am.
Flying off in sixteen days.
Oh boy, I can't wait.

-

Penned down, black and white
Shivers of utmost terror
Just me and my best friend.

-

Wishin' and hopin'
Leg warmers, red belt, tight jeans,
Don't forget to write!

But a Mile in Depth

2009-01-12T20:37:00.002+08:00

The glass between the two,
2cm thick,
but a mile in depth.

The inseparable,
finally were.
The lovers,
finally lost.

The saddest moment known to man,
Happened just once to them,
But over and over,
Every day,
Every where,
Over and over
Again.

The Final Song of Love

2009-01-12T18:43:00.002+08:00

To lose someone like that, someone so close, is not just painful. It goes beyond heart wrenching. For the life of me, I tried to imagine, to put myself in his shoes. But all I saw in my mind was panic. Panic at losing my own. Panic at knowing how he was feeling at that moment. Panic, coupled with fear. Fear of the unknown, of the loss. Fear that it will some day be mine. Fear of my lack of expression and reaction.

How was I to know and understand? I tried and failed.
I was thankful and confused.

To see grown men cry. To hear final hymns. To feel the thorns on the stalks - the red so in contrast. To taste the saltiness of tears on his cheeks. I felt useless.

As the time drew nearer, I felt myself watching from above. I saw his own love try to penetrate the dark wooden shell.

And then we all felt it. The final song of love; a father's love who his children would never quite understand, and yet always feel.

-

for Z, R, T, N.

Please be my hero

2008-12-04T01:13:00.001+08:00

And if the guilt is not enough
There comes the grief
I cannot shrug off
Too many if onlys
To get lost in
To drown in

The smiling faces surround
But the farce
The pretense
Which all seems so real
Refuses to pull me in
Why can't I believe

I wanted to be strong
Stronger than all this
To be able to move mountains
All for you

I don't want to drown
I don't want to wait
The things I knew
Have never seemed so far

For all the times where I
Was your friend
Was your strength
Gave in to you
Please just remember this now

This is dragging me down
I cannot pin point
The exact causes of this
This

For when I finally need
Need you to be there
To hold me together
For a while
For right now

Please make it all better
So my heart won't break

#181 - Goldinuniverse (It's really me!)

2008-11-22T17:18:00.000+08:00

Found this on Angelina's blog, and it is super true and pretty darn interesting! =)

Name: Wendy Tan
Date: 11/22/2008
Colorgenics Number: 45213670

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

Being afraid that you may be prevented from achieving your hopes and dreams is making you anxious and nervous. As a dreamer your ideas can at times move into the realm of fantasy and you could be following that so called illusive dream.

Goldinuniverse - click here to try!

Gobama!!

2008-11-05T12:55:00.003+08:00

Yayyyyyyyyy. Obama FTW.

#179 - And Yet, So Bad

2008-09-23T23:32:00.004+08:00

I saw you staring at me
Quite obviously, in plain sight
For every one else to see
It was at night, that one night
Where the world moved around me
And I flew, like a free kite.

I saw you moving closer
Pushing the others away
You sent multiple shivers -
Through me; Made my day
You said how about dinner
And I didn't feel so gray

I saw you and me dancing
I felt good, proud, even glad
We were so close; Our breathing -
Was one; Driving me oh so mad
And then I knew I was falling
Deep, hard and fast -
You were so good. And yet, so bad.

#178 - Disagree

2008-09-23T23:18:00.006+08:00

It is only in the perverse darkness of the room that you come closer to me. (Why only in this darkness? Why only when no one else can see you? When no one else cares to look. Only under these lights that flash in our faces with the irregularity of lightning making it so hard for me to see you, and you to see me.) So close that your solidity is beginning to suffocate me in a way only you know how to do. This, it, you, affect me so much that I cannot think. I cannot breathe. I am absolutely immobile. I succumb to your presence beside me, in my mind, all over my body, up and down. I cannot get you off of me. I am unable to control me, and my very being, anymore.

Your shadow echos in my ear. Resonating off my beating heart, blood rushing to and through my ears. You cause the world around me to fall away in to that dark dark night. (I cannot tell if this is night or day. Not anymore.) I want to know why you can make me cry, shed these tears sliding down my dusty, grimy face. I want to know why you affect me in this way. I want to know why you can make me this sad. So full of despair. When you never do anything for me, to me or with me. It was always me. For you, to you and with you. Always you, you and you.

It was, and never will be, about me.
And don't you dare disagree.

#177 - Even just for a hug

2008-07-23T20:31:00.002+08:00

To feel
Sorrow for another
Never the same
It is, without the denial
Shock, grief, in absolution
Never fear, I'm here
Always here
Even just for a hug.

#176 - For Being She

2008-07-15T01:32:00.004+08:00

It was perhaps the only point of realisation she had in her entire life.

Where the dream-like wonderment and amazement crashed to a halt. Her world seemed to stop as it all dawned upon her. As sun beams would hit the shivering body of a new-born for the very first time. It all seemed so new. So startling. That she had never known, realised or recognised.

She had yet to accurately pinpoint the source of her discovery. Or, the exact knowledge she had just gleaned. It had just happened. One mid-afternoon, as she sat in the car, on the way to some oft-gone place, as the drizzle melted into glass and aluminium.

She just knew what she felt.

Yet, she feared. For her life, her routine, the motions she went through everyday. For the relationship linking her to the now missed wonderment and amazement her childish state experienced as she uncovered the joys of the day for every one else. It was a deep-rooted fear she could not shake, something which she so badly wanted to do. It was the unknown, the strange, the fear of the fear, of change, of the new. She did not want it. She just wanted what she knew.

This was what she knew.

She thought to the past. Where the signs, symptoms, hints and rumours all seemed oh-so-true. Then the wonder came back. How could she have not recognised, and missed it all? Was it true? What was she supposed to do about this now? Was it too late. She supposed it was. Now that everything she had just learned about had up and left her. Left her too early. And she, learned only just too late.

It was her first taste of regret. It was tangy.

Then came the wash of sadness. Glazing over her eyes. But the tears did not happen. They were stuck at the back of her sockets, waiting. Waiting and dancing their gleeful dance of suffering. It hurt. That was new as well. Now that she supposed it was her fault. It had to be her fault. All her fault. For realising too late. For learning too late. For not recognising. For missing it all.

For being she.

Is it possible

2008-07-15T01:28:00.002+08:00

Is it possible that
I've always felt this way
The way which only tugs
On my ends right now
Now when I say good bye
Now when we have to part
This is not the right time
Never the right time
There is never a
Right time

Is it possible that
You could have known
All along for years
When I did not recognise
The symptoms, disasters,
Allusions, images, hints,
You.

I Wish On 11:11

2008-06-29T18:57:00.000+08:00

There are so many things
Too many
That I wish for
From the bottom of my
Almost tearing heart

I wish, oh how I wish,
For the sun to rise
At times when I'm awake
And not deep in my dreams
For the sunsets to be prettier
Without the carbon dioxide
Pollutants which affect sight
For the full moon to last
Showering us in its glory
Every romantic day

This is for the lovers
Who dream their days away
This is for the dreamers
Who love to love

I wish, with all my might,
For the loving grandparents
With their ability to spoil and comfort
To reach into my heart and heal
For sisters I never had
Who see what I hide
And help me to rediscover
For the unappreciated parents
Toiling in the scenery
Yet smiling all the way

This is for the child at heart
Who embraces life's laughter
This is for the ambitious
Who strives for success

I wish, on a star bright,
For the childhood innocence
Allowing me dreams, laughs, hope
With complete irresponsibility
For the water fights in the heat
Embossing memories in my mind
Making my smile every time
For the first time for everything
Showing me nasty is not so bad
Letting me learn

This is for the insecure
Who need just one hug
This is for the hurt
Who need to say bye

I wish, so very hard,
For people to smile more
The way they used to
For people to know
When I hide my grief
For people to hold me
And not to question

This is for the girl
Who walks alone
This is for the boy
Who looks for more

I wish
On the stars
On the eye lashes
Mostly,
I wish,
On 11:11.

4 Eternity

2008-06-28T02:47:00.000+08:00

Texting you
Back and 4th
I want to wish you well
You want to draw me in

Dinner with seats 4 two
Discussions contemplating
The meaning of life
The reason for secrets
The answer to tears

And when it all ends
When what we know is gone
When future throws us in mid-air
When future can't catch us all
When we're on the edge
Will you be there
Still?

All we can see now are the
4 parts to life
4 views on society
4 takes on morality
4 secret perspectives
4 tears rolling down
4 faces
4 chances given
4 is all we need

4 you and me
4 me and you

4 life
4 love

4 eternity

While Holding On

2008-06-28T02:35:00.000+08:00

Was sitting there watching you
Watching the birds coo
As your troubles poured
I, for you, listened
But it wasn't for me
That you spoke free

I hear the piano play
Sweeping me beyond all
Feelings past and present
Weeping through the euphoria

Seems like I'm just a feeling
To be brushed away
Beside you I'm standing
To be sensed, not felt
Your hands are on mine
But they are not for me

I hear the sounds of the night
Washing over me, silently
Under the ordinary moon light
Pushing confusion forward

Was wondering if you thought
Knew, what I was thinking
Questioned your actions
The way you seem to know
Yet act like I'm not there
Just barely visible

I hear waves dying on the beach
The last standing ovation
Sinking into my guts
The anchor to my soaring heart

You really had me going
Did you know the accidental
Touches, smiles, glances
Was quite a show
Making me follow
Believe in the impossible
Time for me to go
Yet, you look the other way
Face the rest of the world
Acting like I'm not there
Just barely visible

While holding on to my hand.

So Afraid

2008-06-01T18:46:00.000+08:00

And when you’re all alone
Staring out the window
At the pink-red-purple-blue streaks
Thinking
Yesterday should have been my last

It’s when you don’t cry anymore
Except during the happiest of songs
It’s when your heart ceases to exist
Except for when you in slumber

And when you’re all alone
Wandering through the crowds
Shielding your face from the hearsay
Trying
Your hardest not to think

The only chance for answers
Kept strapped in a bottle
Floating far out in the dead
Sea.

I want to run far away
Where I am motivated
By myself
Where I can dream
Without sleeping
Where I do not fail
My own heart
Where I do not feel
The hurt from you
Where no one can harm
Me

Better yet
Just pay attention
Very hard
Very close
Attention
To my cries
Of want, of need
Of dreams.

I Mistook You For An Eagle

2008-05-25T12:02:00.000+08:00

You flew past my window
Offering me a glimpse of triumph
The unflappable faith of wings
Riding the humid heat
Just metres away from me

You sauntered past on fragile clouds
The extremity of the open sky
Completely and utterly yours
To tempt, to boast
Within grabbing distance was I

You soared past on impeccable pride
I watched you fly and fly
I wanted to be you, entrancing and smooth
Your silhouette against the brightest of blue
Pulled me out of my seat, out of my window

But alas,
You pigeon you!

Singapore Airshow

2008-03-29T19:27:00.024+08:00

Day One

Black Knights

Mirror image

A380

It was that hot

This takes my breath away

Day Two

The huge crowd

The Banana Did It

2008-03-29T19:16:00.005+08:00

The Scream

Riciotti

The Banana that did It

You (& I)

2008-03-29T00:34:00.001+08:00

It's the crookedness
Within a frame
Wooden and pale

You said you knew
Consequences
To fleeting gratification
Instantaneous and imperative

Entrenched in memory
Of mine not yours

You
Pissed drunk below the bench
Wandering fingertips
They tickle only fools
Of which I fell
With you
Into your abyss of games

You play and forget
The night is a distant face
Meandering off into
Unwritten History
Where mistakes are forgotten
Never to happen
Never did happen

There it goes
Shattered and shiny
Splattered and spent

I try
Like I never knew
But you should know
There is no such thing as
Never

I am
Crawling forward.

Hope

2008-03-29T00:22:00.001+08:00

Only here with the fullness of night
Only available with the twitches of dreams
The sweeping euphoria
Fleeing faster than feathers floating on flights of fancy

I want to feel the air
Out of the muggy stillness
The lack of
Of being un -
Unable
Unsuccessful
Un -

I demand, design, direct
Am definite
There is none left
Never was, from the start

It is my hope.

The Look by Sarah Teasdale

2008-02-19T00:42:00.001+08:00

Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.

Switchfoot

2008-02-17T21:48:00.019+08:00

The Caracal drummer

Bryan

Dharma

The Switchfoot keyboardist - Jerome

The other Switchfoot guy

WGB in TJC

Caracal in TJC

Sound check-ing

Fiona!

Sheng Wei!

WGB opening for Switchfoot

The crowd

Switchfoot

Picture perfect

2008-02-17T21:25:00.023+08:00

Toilet fun
Pluck-ing

Marc! Right before he left.

Mr Alex Fun who is so fun we don't want him to leave

Road Run joy

CNY08

Quotes make me happy

2008-02-17T00:52:00.002+08:00

On dreams,

"One must desire something to be alive."
- Margaret Deland

"It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be."
- Randy K. Milholland

On belief,

"Men willingly believe what they wish."
- Julius Caesar

On creativity,

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
- Pablo Picasso

On desire,

"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
- George Bernard Shaw

ENFJ

2008-02-17T00:40:00.003+08:00

Your Type is ENFJ

Extraverted 11%
Intuitive 50%
Feeling 75%
Judging 22%

You are:
slightly expressed extravert
moderately expressed intuitive personality
distinctively expressed feeling personality
slightly expressed judging personality

Description of type ENFJ
The Portait of the Teacher (ENFJ)
The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.

Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.

The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.

Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Idealists.

Career Choices for type ENFJ
Counselling, psychology, social work, education
Physician
Science, computer programming
Management, fashion merchandising, politics

-

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Her Belief

2008-02-16T13:42:00.003+08:00

Believing was her thing
Always.
Her thing
Faith love hope
And all that jazz

Warnings crept by
Advice was whispered
Faith love hope
Believe!
Like an eagle outside your window
All the same
Cushions were prepared

Along came a boy
One who
Toyed with feelings
Played with fingers
And most of all
Reached into the abyss

Warnings swept past
Advice was loud
Faith love hope
Believe!
Like the brightest shooting star
All the same
Bandages were prepared

Along came ambitions
One which
Played with feelings
Toyed with minds
And most of all
Reached to the highest of skies

Warnings raced forward
Advice etched into stone
Faith love hope
Believe!
Like the tallest tower and tree
All the same
Chocolates were prepared

And when the boy disappeared
And when the ambitions weren't
And when it all crashed
And when it all collapsed
The abyss plunged
The shooting star plummeted
The tower and tree fell
And when it was all over
The cushions
bandages
chocolates
Were used

She realised
Her belief was lost long before

Do I Make You Proud

2007-12-17T02:43:00.000+08:00

Support me please
I am Singapore
Are you proud
Over and over
The words resonate
Worming its way
Tickling my skin
Below my conscience
Eating my soul
I am nervous
Did you know
No you won't
You can't tell
No no no
You won't know
See I hide
My pride away
My momma said
Pride isn't good.
But all the same,
I am proud.

The Clothes You Wear

2007-10-06T11:13:00.000+08:00

What others see from your style
Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends, you actually wear carefully designed accessories and clothes that emphasize your uniqueness. You value your freedom and have an artistic mind. You are neither aggressive nor timid, but you believe in yourself.

What your nightclothes reveal
You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.

What others see from your ties
You are kind and friendly. You are an uncomplicated person and enjoy exciting activities.

What others see from your belts
You are a kind of person who likes to hide your feelings. You may have a hot temper but tend to cover it with an outwardly calm and gentle demeanor. You are sensitive when it comes to love.

What others see from your shoes
You like to be the center of attention. You like to look good at all times and probably never leave the house without makeup on. Although you may be intelligent, you're also insecure about your looks. You care about others, and will always listen to what they have to say.

What others see from your earrings
You are probably an independent and strong-willed person. Fairness is important to you, and you always stand up for what you believe in. You are friendly and get along well with people.

The last analysis
You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts.

Taken from: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test102.aspx

Get to know yourself better

2007-09-22T13:03:00.000+08:00

Was blog-surfing and I found this! I must say, it's extremly accurate til the point of freaky. For me at least.

-

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

-

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx =)

mp3 thing

2007-09-21T23:21:00.000+08:00

Press shuffle on your mp3 software for each category
Taken from khementi!

OPENING CREDITS : Groupie Luv - 213
WAKING UP : Girlfight - Brooke Valentine
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL : Anna Molly - Incubus
FALLING IN LOVE : The Way You Look At Me - Christian Bautista
FIGHT SONG : Everytime I... - Mario Vasquez
BREAKING UP : Locked Up - Akon
PROM : Be Without You - Mary J. Blige
LIFE : Love In A New Wave - Electrico
MENTAL BREAKDOWN : Have You Ever - Brandy
DRIVING : Irreplacable - Beyonce Knowles
FLASHBACK : Platinum Blind - Rooster
WEDDING : Lucky - Unique
BIRTH OF CHILD : Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
FINAL BATTLE : Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
DEATH SCENE : Jaded - Aerosmith
FUNERAL SONG : Wait A Minute - Paula Deanda
END CREDITS : Do You Realize - The Flaming Lips

-

Lol. That was fun. Some are pretty suitable. =)

What Do You Say To

2007-09-08T16:11:00.000+08:00

What do you say to
To the neighbour who has watched you grow
Over the past decade
To the person who was there all your life,
But you never really knew

What do you say to
To the childhood pal
Who reappeared after fifteen years
To the very first boyfriend
Who broke your heart forever and ever

What do you say to
To the parent who controls your movements
But you know it’s for the best
To the long-lost great-grand-uncle
Whom you’ve never set eyes on

What do you say to
To the latest crush
Who you want to impress
To the new girl in class
Who you think is nice enough

What do you say to
To the life-long best friend
Who is now growing apart
To the guy who confesses his feelings
But you don’t want to hurt

What do you say to
To the dirty old man on the bus
Faking sleep to fall on your shoulder
To the beggar on the street
Who has no food or shelter

What do you say to
To the newest addition to the family
Who might just steal your thunder
To the one who saves your life
Be it at home, in the office or elsewhere

What do you say to
To the man lying in a hospice
On the verge of dying
To the foolish soul with the bow and arrow
Who is trying to shoot down the stars

What do you say to
To the teacher who stayed up late working
Just to keep you from disappointment
To the doctor working 48 hour shifts
Just to save everyone he can

What do you say to
To the friend who has been there all along
But you never really thanked
To the sibling who you love to hate
And will always have your back

What do you say to
To the politician who is heavily criticized
But cries at home alone, unable to help enough
To the struggling artist waiting in line at auditions
Who has more talent but no agent

What do you say to
To the man who works the hardest
But never seems to get promoted
To the mother who stays up all night
Nursing her child

What do you say to
To the people in your life
To the ones who go thankless
To the ones taken for granted
To the ones who go unseen

I wonder.

2007-08-17T23:03:00.000+08:00

Your Love is Represented by a White Rose

While you may or may not be totally naive, you do approach love with an eternal innocence.
You love like you've never been hurt. And you put all your faith in your partner.
Your philosophy on love is: be honest and be yourself.

What Rose Represents Your Love?

Your Life is 79% Perfect

Your life is pretty darn perfect. You don't have much to complain about.
Of course, your life is occasionally less than perfect. But you're usually too happy to notice.

How Perfect is Your Life?

What Wendy Tan Means

W is for Warm

E is for Elegant

N is for Nutty

D is for Delightful

Y is for Young

T is for Tolerant

A is for Adaptable

N is for Naughty

What Does Your Name Mean?

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester.
Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable.
You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are Chocolat Orange Pocky

Your attitude: funky and flavorful
Rich and deep - yet zingy and zesty
You are the perfect partner in crime

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

You Can Make 74% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Your seduction skills are practically legendary. You know how to close the deal.
Just don't let someone you're really into get the better of you!
As long as you keep up your end of the flirting game, you'll get the prize at the end.

Can You Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

You Are 92% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Off the Charts!

Let's face it... you're one of the sexiest people around. And you don't let anyone forget it.
You're crazy hot, and you deliver on what you promise. You are definitely one wild ride.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

You Are a Strawberry Blonde

Men see you as flirtatious, but they also see you as a challenge
Because you're totally fearless and carefree
You've got the lightheartedness of a blonde, with the attitude of a redhead

How Blonde Are You?

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance.
On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others.
You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative.
Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you.

Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter.
You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything.
You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships.
Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Your Psyche is Blue

You are deeply emotional and very connected to everything (and everyone) around you.
By simply understanding other people, you are able to help them heal and let go.
While you are a very deep and thoughtful person, you do have a very silly, superficial side.

When you are too blue: the weight of the world's problems hangs over you

When you don't have enough blue: you lack perspective and understanding

What Color Is Your Psyche?

Orange County

You're rich, pretty, and living a charmed life. (Or you seriously wish you were.)
From Disneyland to Laguna Beach, you're all about living the California dream life.
Just make sure to marry rich - so you don't have to work for it!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

You Are a Little Anal Retentive

Okay, so you're occasionally uptight, but it's not like you fill your day with little OCD rituals.
You just like to exercise a little control over your life, and that's usually a good thing.
As long as you limit your anal retentive ways to your own behavior, you're not annoying anyone.
Deep down, most people are exactly like you.

Are You Anal Retentive?

You Are 80% California

You're so Californian, you belong in Hollyweird.

How California Are You?

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an ex
Or maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guys
Either way, you'll find a boyfriend in time...
As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

You are Agnostic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

You Are a Fun Girl!

You are all about having fun - and you don't need to drink to have a good time
Sure, you've thrown back more than a few every so often
But getting totally stupid and wasted is not your style
You're the life of the party, by keeping everyone laughing and smiling

Are You a Party Girl?

Your Career Personality: Independent, Flexible, and Ingenious

Your Ideal Careers:

Astronaut
Entrepreneur
Lawyer
Nightclub owner
Photographer
Private investigator
Real estate developer
Stand up comic
Venture capitalist
Video game developer

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

2007-08-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

Your Girl Parts Are Named:

Venus Fly Trap

Girl Parts Name Generator

You've Got a Bit of a Crush

Maybe your guy friend is a crush of convenience - easy enough to happenDid you just break up with someone? Or are you more lonely than usual?If no to both, then this small crush could be the real deal.Find out if he feels the same - because he just might!

Are You Crushing on Him (And Don't Even Know It)?

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere.You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant.From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.
Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all menYou are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. RightYou should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are Somewhat Honest

You do tend to tell the truth a lotBut you also stretch the truth on occasionYou figure a little lie isn't a big dealAs long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!

How Honest Are You?

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice themYou take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be pickyYou aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounterIt may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life. But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?

Your Uncommon Name Is:

Sparkle Cayla Wooding

What Very Uncommon Name Should You Have?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you are a bit stingy.
You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.
You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

You Are 64% Lady

Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners.But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette

Are You A Lady?

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.You know that love isn't like a greeting card...Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.
You are the best of both worldsGirly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

Your Kiss is Green

Your kisses are short and sweet - at least a first.You tend to be a cautious kisser. You don't want to scare anyone off.Once you get to know someone, your kisses are daring... and even wild.No matter what the situation is, you know how to deliver the perfect kiss.
Kissing Type: Varied
People See Your Kisses as: Skillful
You Kiss Best With: A Blue Kisser
Stay away from: A Black Kisser

What Color Is Your Kiss?

You Are a Liberal Lady

Like Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore, you don't shy away from your liberal causes.You may consider yourself a feminist, and you definitely trust your heart to tell you what's right.You are likely to have a million issues you care about - and not nearly enough time to devote to them all.

Are You a Liberal Lady or a Conservative Chick?

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both flirtatious and intimidating.Your friends are secretly put off by your seductive powers.And strangers either fear you or obsess over you - sometimes both.No way to fight it - you're a natural vamp. Or rake.

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

The Insanity of a Crush -

2007-08-12T14:22:00.001+08:00

It's the smiling to yourself when you're staring at the melting candles on the table.

It's the tingly feeling in your toes and fingers.

It's the closed lids of a dreamy giggle.

It's the staring out the window and wishing on anything that flys by.

It's the seconds that move too fast and too slow.

It's the sighs in between the sharing of stories.

It's the anxiety of not knowing what to do.

It's the impatience of time apart.

It's the way every song reminds you of him.

It's the consultation of everyone.

It's the inability to do anything but.

It's the random bursts of joy.

It's the sweetest little nothings.

It's the comfort found in the memories.

It's the furtive glances at every mode of communication you own.

It's the last thing on your mind before sleep settles in, allowing you to dream pleasant dreams the night away, leaving you with the tinest of smiles on your face, one which no one can figure out why it's there but yourself.

<3Wendy.

same as everyone else

2007-07-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

it's spinning
off to far away
it's hurting
like a test a day
I wonder
if you can hold me
is there a way to stare
politely
the music swings me
to the right
always
to the right
i've lost a friend
somewhere along the way
not one
many many many
i want to know
how you can help
how i can help
will you let me know
when you come back to me
its where i know you
want to be
all around us
there are pretty smiles
make me weak
heart head and knees
and i'm no ordinary girl
who's the same as everyone else

150th post!

2007-07-22T15:06:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Wendy!

Wendy was originally called Cheerioats!
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching Wendy!
Oranges, lemons, watermelons, pineapples and Wendy are all berries.
A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and Wendy.
A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Wendy, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life!
Wendy can live for up to a week without a head!
Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of Wendy in your ear 700 times!
There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of Wendy orbiting the Earth!
Wendy is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.
Olive oil was used for washing Wendy in the ancient Mediterranean world.

Therefore I am

2007-07-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

Somtimes all I really wanted
Was the assurance
Your assurance
That you would not run away
Run away tugging at my heart
The strings are loosening
Coming undone
And I'm unable
Helpless
To put it all back together
When I run
When I hide
When I pretend
It's all a sign
Showing you what I want
But not telling you
It's all I really want
You know I do
Why the ignorance
I read
Behind the fake glass
Below the squinty eyes
Above your towering head
Therefore I am.

Personal DNA

2007-06-28T17:53:00.000+08:00

Photography Competition!

2007-06-27T11:44:00.000+08:00

Photography Competition!

CLICK HERE

=)

Quizzes;

2007-06-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

What letter does the name of your true love start with? (for girls)
P-T Examples: Patrick... Quincy... Roy... Sam... Tommy
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

What Playboy Bunny are You? (pics)
Pink Awww... how cute you are a pink PlayBoy bunny!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

WHAT FLAVOR BUBBLE GUM ARE YOU?PICS!!!
TRIDENT COOL YOU ARE TRIDENT GUM! NICE FLAVORS TO MAKE YOUR BREATH SMELL GOOD AND CLEAN YOUR MOUTH...
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

What is your secret stripper name? (pics)
Temptation temptation
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Which Greek god/goddess are you?
Aphrodite You are Aphrodite! Aphrodite was the goddess of love and beauty. She flirted with everyone, even though she was the wife of Hephaestus, son of Hera, and Hephaestus did not do much to stop her from cheating.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

What Is Your Movie Kiss? (pics)
The Notebook Your movie kiss is the Notebook!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Worse Than Two Fading Rainbows

2007-06-23T02:59:00.000+08:00

You have stolen
The one possession I valued
Beyond my broken
Eyesight, past repair
Made me fall
Hard and fast
Like the weed users
Lining the streets of NYC
You have stolen my
Spinning feelings
Going fast and faster
Worse than two fading rainbows
Given up the fight
I want to get it right
Freeing myself from feelings
I'll let it all shine through
You have stolen my heart

Seeking the Attention of Me

2007-06-23T02:58:00.000+08:00

Surely you realise
I'm here beside
Sitting, waiting and wishing
Hoping and dreaming
Do I have to say goodbye
To the guitar rifts
Running through my head
Trampling my heart
Will you admit
It won't ever be the same
Are you saying farewell
Before it even began
My name is the blank space
Waiting for you to fill it in
The air around me needs traffic control
Make me green
'Cos when I think of you
You're the one who wakes me up
The laughter and the frowns
Turns me up, out and down
Saying goodbye is much too hard
Too tough a thing for me
To do not once,
But over and over
All my life
The purples of the sun rays
Lift my downcast head
Radiating the hopeless heat
Only the great ball of fire can
When is it my turn
For the ones in my imagination
Have spilleth over
Running through
Seeking the attention of me
Me, during the day
Won't you hear my murmurs
My sins are written
All over my pillowcase
The bedsheets and the blankets
I pretend I'm okay
But I can't let the real me show
It's what I do
I'm dreaming of you
And you'll never know
Because this is my secret to you

Songs

2007-06-19T18:36:00.000+08:00

SONGS I LOOOVE. =) Especially the last one.

Quotationspage.com

2007-05-19T11:47:00.000+08:00

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."
- Oscar Wilde (Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I)

"Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place."
- Ice T (The Ice Opinion)

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (On Reading and Writing)

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
- Charles M. Schulz

"But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush
To see me thus transformed to a boy."
- William Shakespeare (The Merchant of Venice, Act II Scene 6)

Quotes make my day good.

Reading list

2007-05-13T12:45:00.000+08:00

~~The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini~~
~~The Martian Chronicles – Ray Bradbury~~
The Illustrated Man – Ray Bradbury
~~Farenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury~~
Something Wicked This Way Comes – Ray Bradbury
~~Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales – Ray Bradbury~~
~~Brave New World – Aldous Huxley~~
Net Force – Tom Clancy
Runaways – Tom Clancy
~~Tuesdays With Morrie – Mitch Albom~~
Three Weeks With My Brother – Nicholas Sparks
True Believer – Nicholas Sparks
Journals – Kurt Cobain
Suite Française – Irene Nemirovsky
Digging to America – Anne Tylor
The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
Life of Pi – Yann Martel
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon
The Emperor’s Children – Claire Messud
Marley & Me: Life & Love with the World’s Worst Dog – John Grogan
~~1984 – George Orwell~~
~~Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal – Eric Schlosser~~
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
~~The Silver Sword – Ian Serraillier~~
I Am David – Anne Holm
Nory Ryan’s Song – Patricia Reilly Giff
~~The Pearl – John Steinbeck~~
~~The Bartimaeus Trilogy – Jonathan Stroud~~
~~A Few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies – John Murray~~
The Little Prisoner – Jane Elliot
My Best Friend’s Girl – Dorothy Koomson
My Sister’s Keeper – Jodi Picoult
Keeping Faith – Jodi Picoult
The Tenth Circle – Jodi Picoult
The Pact – Jodi Picoult

Harlem Sweeties by Langston Hughes

2007-05-13T12:40:00.000+08:00

Have you dug the spill
Of Sugar Hill?
Cast your gims
On this sepia thrill:
Brown sugar lassie,
Caramel treat,
Honey-gold baby
Sweet enough to eat.
Peach-skinned girlie,
Coffee and cream,
Chocolate darling
Out of a dream.
Walnut tinted
Or cocoa brown,
Pomegranate-lipped
Pride of the town.
Rich cream-colored
To plum-tinted black,
Feminine sweetness
In Harlem’s no lack.
Glow of the quince
To blush of the rose.
Persimmon bronze
To cinnamon toes.
Blackberry cordial,
Virginia Dare wine—
All those sweet colors
Flavor Harlem of mine!
Walnut or cocoa,
Let me repeat:
Caramel, brown sugar,
A chocolate treat.
Molasses taffy,
Coffee and cream,
Licorice, clove, cinnamon
To a honey-brown dream.
Ginger, wine-gold,
Persimmon, blackberry,
All through the spectrum
Harlem girls vary—
So if you want to know beauty’s
Rainbow-sweet thrill,
Stroll down luscious,
Delicious, fine Sugar Hill.

Drowning Out

2007-04-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here
Waiting
Drowning out the sounds
Just waiting
All for one reason
Plugs in my ears
Music I don't really hear
The words going through
Not touching
My heart not speaking
I close my eyes
Not wanting to see
To see the reflection
Reflection of you
You looking at me
Me feigning ignorance
Ignorance of you
You reaching for me
Me shutting you
You
Out.

I Just Want

2007-04-07T18:35:00.000+08:00

I just want
Someone to love
Someone to hold
Because my arms are aching

I just want
Someone to obsess over
Someone to pinch to check reality
Because I'm drowning in dreams

I just want
Someone to pull my eyes out
Someone to wake me at night
Because I'm not dreaming

I just want
Someone to tickle my ribs
Someone to swing me by my arms
Because I want to be scared

I just want
Someone to cry with me
Someone to yell at me
Because I'm not doing my work

I just want
Someone to send me songs online
Someone to LOL with me
Because two's company

I just want
Someone to buy me chocolate
Someone to make me eat
Because I think I'm too fat

I just want
Someone to read what I write
Someone to inspire me
Because I feel like there's nothing left

I just want
Someone to sit in silence with
Someone to listen to
Because I talk too much

I just want
My dreams to come true.

Getting Ready

2007-04-07T12:45:00.000+08:00

Oh to move with the leaves
Huge drops cause me to squint
Flinch and cringe
Faint booming bass beats sound
The dog whimpers
Then hides
The goldfish swims around
Forgets its name
And swims around again
The paper walls begin to thump
In time with the bass
Rising from below
The rain flies in
The squeal of closing windows is heard
The lights flicker
And a car alarm goes off
The cranky wrinkled old lady
Nags at her charges
The boy in blue howls with excitement
And I get ready to sleep.

Problems By Langston Hughes

2007-04-06T22:18:00.000+08:00

2 and 2 are 4.
4 and 4 are 8.

But what would happen
If the last 4 was late?

And how would it be
If one 2 was me?

Or if the first 4 was you
Divided by 2?

This poem is just so clever. Swoon.

Dream Deferred By Langston Hughes

2007-04-06T22:12:00.000+08:00

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
Like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
Like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

I know Nad loves this poem!

Dreams By Langston Hughes

2007-04-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

I love this poem. I used it in my old poetry book in Jordan. As one I did a review on. I loved it. And I still do.

Lemn Sissay

2007-04-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

I HEART LEMN SISSAY.

He reminds me of my love for Linton Kwesi Johnson and Langston Hughes. I discovered one with the help of my dad, and I had the most wonderful opportunity to watch LKJ in action. And Langston Hughes, by my English teacher at Jordan. =)

I love.

Invisible Kisses By Lemn Sissay

2007-04-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

If there was ever one
Whom when you were sleeping
Would wipe your tears
When in dreams you were weeping;
Who would offer you time
When others demand;
Whose love lay more infinite
Than grains of sand.

If there was ever one
To whom you could cry;
Who would gather each tear
And blow it dry;
Who would offer help
On the mountains of time;
Who would stop to let each sunset
Soothe the jaded mind.

If there was ever one
To whom when you run
Will push back the clouds
So you are bathed in sun;
Who would open arms
If you would fall;
Who would show you everything
If you lost it all.

If there was ever one
Who when you achieve
Was there before the dream
And even then believed;
Who would clear the air
When it's full of loss;
Who would count love
Before the cost.

If there was ever one
Who when you are cold
Will summon warm air
For your hands to hold;
Who would make peace
In pouring pain,
Make laughter fall
In falling rain.

If there was ever one
Who can offer you this and more;
Who in keyless rooms
Can open doors;
Who in open doors
Can see open fields
And in open fields
See harvests yield.

Then see only my face
In the reflection of these tides
Trough the clear water
Beyond the river side.
All I can send is love
In all that this is
A poem and a necklace
Of invisible kisses.

Not mine

2007-03-15T13:00:00.000+08:00

You take me where
I've never been
Never have
I can't see the way before me
Can't see it
No matter how hard I struggle
You push
I can't move from here
From this place
With my feet so firmly planted
Not to leave
Not to go
Why now?
Why make me try?

Trying to help
Trying to solve
Help. Solve.
Trying to find
Trying to search for all the right answers
That I can't seem to ever find
Without someone else's help

You want to be the one
Who am I to say
What I want
Is what I want to hurt
You, my one true friend
But not my one true love

You sit there munching
On no-nut chocolate chips
Staring out
Gazing
Following the planes
Tracing a path through the sky
Waiting,
Waiting,
Waiting.
Are you waiting for me?
I wish you wouldn't.
There's something in the way
You stare
Seering through me
Pulling from inside
Grasping and tugging
It hurts

But I don't want to hurt you.

Quizzes once again

2007-02-13T01:47:00.000+08:00

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:
Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor - Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer - Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer - Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

You Are 53% American

Most times you are proud to be an American. Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe. Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home. You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

How American Are You?

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 100%

Sloth: 80%

Greed: 60%

Envy: 40%

Lust: 40%

Pride: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 57%

You'll die choking on a cookie in bed.

How Sinful Are You?

You Are 88% Bipolar

You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life. Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder.

Are You Bipolar?

Your Love Type: INFP

The Idealist

In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up.

Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space.

Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

What's" Your Love Type?

You Are 80% Passionate, 20% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love. In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust. You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

Your Birthdate: February 28

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it. You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!

You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 6

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You'll Find Love Where You Least Expect It

You're the type most likely to find love... surprised? You shouldn't be! You're a fun, independent woman who is always out and about. And you're smart to sometimes leave your girlfriends behind and go it alone. Men love to approach you when you're out by yourself - including Mr. Perfect!

Where Will You Find Love?

You Are 68% Girly

You're a pretty girly chick, and you're not ashamed to admit it (or wear pink). But you're also practical. You can hang with the guys, as long as they're not too gross!

How Girly Are You?

You Are Confident Sexy

You're one sexy chica, and you know it. You've got the confidence to strut your stuff... And approach any man who happens to catch your eye. You may make guys run away, but the true men will appreciate your moxie.

What Kind of Sexy Are You?

You are a City Girl!

Whether you live in the city or not, you've got the heart of a city girl. You're up on the latest trends - what's hot in music, food, and fashion. And you love to be on the go. Your perfect day is filled with tons of fun. Your perfect guy is a city guy, so head to LA, NYC, Sydney, or London to find him!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

You Are High Maintenance

You want the good things in life. Expensive clothes, nice food, and a perfect boyfriend. And while it's good to aim high - you're scaring Mr. Perfect away. No guy will treat you like a princess if you insist on acting like one. Chill a little... and see how much better a big heart is than a big wallet.

Are You High Maintenance?

You Are A Total Shopaholic!

You have a keen eye for spotting trends before they are hot. And sometimes your credit rating takes a beating as a result. Consider a job in retail to subsidize your gorgeous outfits. Over time, you could become a famous stylist or designer!

Are You a Shopaholic?

Your Lucky Love Color is Red

When someone gets to know you, the first thing they notice is your passion.

You are quick to fall in love, quick to get angry, quick to act impulsively. Relationships are quite a ride with you.

And unlike what your color might suggest, you never stop to think before you act.

Your heart is often on fire, and it's a rare man that can quell your flames.

All About Your Lucky Love Color

Your Inner Muse is Thalia

You are most like this playful muse of comedy. Life is all about laughter to you, and you're a natural comic. You make people laugh until their sides split. And you're always up for some play time!

What Muse Are You?

Your Fragrance Profile

The best calming fragrance: vanilla

The best fragrance for everyday wear: orange

The best fragrance to boost your sex appeal: lavender

The best fragrance for energy: pine

What's" Your Fragrance Profile?

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity.

Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly

Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

What Color Rose Are You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Thank You for Disappointing Me

2007-02-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes,
In all that drowning despair,
It’s all I can do
Just to bite my lip
And allow that solitary,
One brave tear.
I tried,
What am I to you?
Have you wondered?
What I am to do?
I had believed.
Once before.
Like many others,
I closed my eyes,
I thought you would,
I could I could,
Believe in you.
The words you say,
They stumble out so easily.
Flowing out,
Out of the snake’s basket.
Had you not wanted it,
As much as I had?
The butterflies have all left.
I feel no more flurries,
No more anxiety.
No more,
Not one.
Is it so easy?
How could it be?
I hear the crickets sing.
Oh my,
It’s already been 28 hours,
4 minutes,
And 13 seconds…
14…
15…
Am I comfortable,
With your broken promise?
The promise not to be forgotten.
The one where I was in front.
And now, Where am I to you?
Thank you.
Thank you again.
Thank you once more.
Thank you for disappointing me so.

The Horse's Horoscope for 2007

2007-01-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

The Horse's Horoscope for 2007

" In 2007, the Horse enjoys good fortune and the female Horse will find herself surrounded by people wanting to be friends and to rub shoulders with her. This is a year when she enjoys a surge in popularity, which gives her natural self-assurance a very big boost indeed. There is an aura of lightness in her stance and those who come into contact with her will interpret this positively.

The woman Horse will find that 2007 brings her the freedom she craves to do her own thing. The free spirit within her will get airborne making her incredibly happy and attractive. Perhaps this is because in 2007 things move along smoothly and she has much to be happy about.

The Horse's self-assurance returns in 2007. The travails of the past year will have taken their toll on her confidence levels, but it is obvious that she has emerged stronger as a result of having to cope with some tough hurdles.

Now she knows she is better able to adapt to situations, so she not only gets her confidence back, she also rises positively to the challenges of the new year. By the end of the year, she will feel so strong it will be like she is a different person.

This is a good year to invest time in new friendships, to start new couplings or even to get married. Horse born women will be very accomodating this year, so there are friends and plenty of occasions to socialise.

The Horse lady is a spontaneously independent lass who pursues her own style. She does not like being rushed or pressured into making decisions she feels she is not ready for. Likewise, if she sets her mind on something, she will not appreciate those who try to talk her out of it.

In 2007, the more adventurous Horse ladies may decide to take off for strange new places or take part in semmingly way out projects. If you are feeling like you want to break out of your routine to travel to unknown places, do not hesitate as this year offers you a great opportunity for doing so safely. If going to dangerous places of getting involved in high risk escapades is something you have always wanted to do, then by all means do it irrespective of your age. Horse people are protected through 2007, especially female Horses.

The best in the Horse woman emerges when she is surrounded by activity. Yang Chi energy keeps her going, and as long as the activity brings enough excitement to send her adrenalin rushing, she will stay commited to the project.

In 2007, there is little danger of her getting bored as this is an active and interesting year for her. The Horse lady is an idealist. She does not like the outward shows of success. She is not the kind who goes for expensive things just to show off. She prefers to be respected than liked. She hates it if people think of her as a dumb broad, and you will rarely find the Horse woman taking on the role of "bimbo". She will never pretend to be dumb. Me who want to date a Horse lady must understand that she hates it when people talk down to her. She does not suffer patronizing easily. In fact, she will simply gallop away. "

- An extract of the general Horse horoscope for 2007 taken from Lillian Too's Fortune & Feng Shui 2007 Horse (With Jennifer Too).

And I feel that this extract like describes me perfectly! It's quite cool. My mom believes in Feng Shui somewhat, so I guess it rubbed off onto me. Anyway, I bought this book, which also includes a monthly horoscope, and a horoscope for whatever type Horse you are, Earth, Fire, Metal, Wood, or Water. So if you want the monthly horoscopes just ask me. =)

Another extract taken from the same book. But this time it's slightly more in-depth one. It's meant only for Metal Horses, which means you'd have to be born either between 30 Jan 1930 - 16 Feb 1931 or 27 Feb 1990 - 14 Feb 1991.

The Metal Female Horse

" The older Metal Horse lady on the surface appears more conservative than the other Horse women and it's due to the fact that she has lived a long life and been through all the ups and downs life can bring. As a result she is usually more close mouthed than her Horse siblings. With the hindsight of experiential insights, she has learned not to reveal her true feelings and is careful to keep her emotions in control.

The teenaged Metal Horse girl however will exhibit more of the rebellious Horse nature, although with an underlying veneer of sensibility and conservation. For both, their metal element will bring good luck and protection against afflictions in 2007. Tis lady exudes a very dignified air and in matters to do with relationships and family, she is quite traditional. She is conservative by nature but possesses a spirit of independence that makes it hard for her to accept too much discipline. You simply cannot shackle a Horse no matter how conservative and well-trained they might be. They must be allowed the occasional burst of energy.

The older lady is comfortable with a fixed routine. For her, 2007 will be like most years, only this time around she will be pleasantly surprised by some events happening that make her happy indeed. There will be double happiness occasions in her life. Her luck is robust and she has more energy this year. There is also something very charming about the way she cares for her loved ones. She is totally giving.

As for the teenager, the best way to treat her is to give her a long rein. Be soft with her and go easy on the bit. Never let her think you are trying to manipulate her, because that will only turn her against you. She reponds to being treated well and she appreciates respect. "

Once again, I think that describes me pretty well. But then again, horoscopes tend to do that don't they.

Anyway, the book also provides love horoscopes. =) Like if I'm a Horse and I were to date someone, I just need to know the animal he is, and then I'd be able to know if it's a good pairing or not! Cool huh. And the book also tells me what to do to improve my luck. But I don't actually follow that bit. I just like the horoscopes.

Turbulence

2006-12-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

So many things,
Rushing,
Running,
Pouring,
In, out, through,
All over my mind.
Why, why, why.
How, when, what.
But most importantly,
Once again,
Why.
Do you enjoy,
A sadistic pleasure,
You take away from here,
This destruction.
I thought
You and I,
Had it good.
We had shared
Something,
Resembling something else.
It's been slow.
It's been strange.
Turbulence was as common as day.
But now it's all fucked up.
How very
Very much
Just like you.

Jumping Shots!

2006-12-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

I took awesome jumping shots of my brother today!

Like the one above! It totally looks like he was skateboarding and the skateboard just happened to fly out of the picture! =) I love this particular picture so much!

All this done at Vivocity while waiting for my mom to wrap up a phonecall. =)

Not Even a Shadow

2006-12-13T02:19:00.000+08:00

You told me everything would change
Once the sun went down.
You came to me
Just to testify,
That I could
If I wanted
To touch the sky.

You told me you were right behind,
Helping me to quench
That insatiable
Thirst of mine.
I tried.
Holding on to that promise
My lifeline, of sorts.
I thought I could
Do what I do
I just couldn’t wait
Not for anyone
But when I looked back
Searching,
Wanting,
Needing,
There was not even a shadow.

quizzes once again!

2006-10-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Profile

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart.Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people.You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile.You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker. You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side. Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

People Envy Your Ingenuity

You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration.People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!

What Do People Envy About You?

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English

20% Yankee

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: ModerateMusic Geekiness: ModerateFashion Geekiness: LowInternet Geekiness: LowGamer Geekiness: NoneGeekiness in Love: NoneGeneral Geekiness: NoneMovie Geekiness: NoneSciFi Geekiness: None

How Geeky Are You?

You are 100% Pisces

How Pisces Are You?

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 76%

You have a good chance of being a multimillionaire. Better than most people.You simply have a natural knack for money and the personality for success.

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are 56% Addicted to Myspace

Your Myspace addiction factor is: ModerateYou're slowly building a very strong addiction to Myspace. Get out while you still can!

Are You Addicted to Myspace?

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to youIn love: You are picky but passionateTo achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's" Your Dosha?

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your Dating Purity Score: 75%

You are an under-experienced dater.This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it.It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover!

Dating Purity Test

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Intuition

You are:A true wordsmith - a master of wordsOriginal, spontaneous, and a true inspirationHighly energetic, up for any challengeEntertaining and engaging, both to friends and strangers

What's" Your Personality Cluster?

Your EQ is 153

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Orange County

You're rich, pretty, and living a charmed life. (Or you seriously wish you were.)From Disneyland to Laguna Beach, you're all about living the California dream life.Just make sure to marry rich - so you don't have to work for it!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

You Are 0% Shy

You aren't shy at all, in fact, you're probably quite outgoing.You are comfortable in almost any social situation, no matter how difficult.

How Shy Are You?

You Are 66% Open

You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly.And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint.You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you!

How Open Are You?

Quizzes!!!

2006-10-05T17:47:00.000+08:00

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.
You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.
People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.
But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.
You show the world what culture really is.

Who's Your Inner European?

Your German Name is:

Gisela Cornelia

What's Your German Name?

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Lucky Underwear is Yellow

You're an extremely happy, laid back, fun soul. And your lucky yellow underwear can help you get even more out of life.
In life, you rather play than work. You're apt to quit any task that doesn't nourish your creativity and inner child.

Sometimes your drive for freedom hinders your quality of life. You find it impossible to do anything unpleasant.
If you want to have responsibilities and still have fun, put on your yellow underpants. They'll help you make a party out of the most mundane tasks.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

You Are 92% Intuitive

Your intuition is so spot on it's scary!
You can learn a lot about people and situations, simply by listening to your gut.
And you've even wondered if you can predict the future at times.
Just be sure not to always listen to your intuition... someday it could be wrong!

How Intuitive Are You?

You've Changed 68% in 10 Years

Compared to who you were ten years ago, you've changed a great deal.
In fact, you're probably in a completely different phase of your life - and very happy about it!

How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are A Social Butterfly

You love your friends so much...
You're motto is "the more, the merrier"!
Making sure everyone's included is your mission
And you always prefer a group of ten to a group of two

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Bambi and Thumper

Boobie Name Generator

Your Birth Month is February

Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life.
Your warmth and consideration touches many.

Your soul reflects: Purity, modesty, and faithfulness

Your gemstone: Amethyst

Your flower: Iris

Your colors: Purple, yellow, and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

Your Quirk Factor: 43%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Your Stripper Song Is

Toxic by Britney Spears

"With the taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under"

You may dance for someone - but only to weaken their defenses.

What Song Should You Strip To?

You Are a Auditory Learner

You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well.
You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music.
You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star!

What's Your Learning Style?

What Guys Think of Your Medium Straight Hair...

Smart, optimistic, easy going.
You're the thinking man's ideal woman - bright, funny, and no drama.

What Do Guys Think Of Your Hair?

You Are Thong Panties

Woman, you are one hell of a ride!
You're a total wild child - and you live for crazy times.
Men are attracted to you like flies to honey, even though they know they should stay away.
You need a expert cowboy who can keep in tune with your free spirit!

What Kind of Panties Are You?

You Give Great Advice

You know what's up when it comes to people and social relationships.
And you're advice is golden, even if your friends don't always take it!
Just make sure that you take your own advice too!

Do You Give Good Advice?

You Are a Flashy Red Bra!

Outgoing, friendly, and fascinating.
You're a charmer, with your pick of the men.
But you want a man who's as magnetic as you are.
You need someone who can keep up with your all night gab fests!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

You Go For Brains!

You want a guy with a big... brain.
And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but you're not counting on it.
What's on the inside is what counts for you. (Besides, you can always change the outside later!)

Do You Go For Brains or Body?

You Are 30% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men.
You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.

Do You Scare Off Men?

You Are a Classic Bikini!

You are the type of gal who looks good in almost any bikini.
Going for the understated look, you don't need a flashy bikini to turn heads.

What Kind of Bikini Are You?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.
What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.
You love to hear compliments from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.
Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

You Are 45% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

How Open Are You?

Your Learning Style: Unconventional and Insightful

You are very intuitive and ingenious. You're attracted to any field of study that lets you break the rules.

You Should Study:

Art
Art history
Architecture
Comparative religions
Eastern religion
Education
Music
Philosophy

What Should You Study?

Your Attitude is Better than 65% of the Population

You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

How's Your Attitude?

You Are a Friendly Flirt!

You are quite the flirt, but you don't flirt with just anyone.
And you hardly ever get caught, because your flirting seems so friendly.
You've got a good thing going. Tons of friends, both guys and girls.
And if you do decide to flirt, hardly anyone's the wiser. Pretty trick!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen
Peacemaker, first to end a fight
Good at thinking up creative dates
Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily
Going with your gut instead of your head
Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault
Good at recognizing patterns in relationships
Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count
Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love
Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow
Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind
Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love?

Quizzes quizzes quizzes! I LOVE THEM. heh. And I really should be studying...

Test.

2006-08-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)

Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.

BEWARE: The Hornivore

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door

I took the test found on Mas' blog!
http://www.okcupid.com/oktest3

Brats

2006-08-24T19:53:00.000+08:00

This is pure gibberish
Everything they say
Does not make one BIT
Of sense.

Mature adults ought to
Act their age
As opposed to
Pretending to be
Much younger
Than I

Why! The foolish things
They all say.
Apparently
I should be talking,
Should be speaking,
Should be sounding out
Simple little words.

But woe betide those
Who bible-lize parenting books.

Whatever happened before
Before all the nonsense
About guidebooks.
Those parents!
They were the smart ones.
They would chastise babies.
Yes, BABIES.
They would even scold them.
Sometimes corporal punishment
Would come into play.

Ahh...
But the parents today.
They are a bunch of
Soft little
Pampered
Brats.

I got tagged!

2006-07-24T15:14:00.000+08:00

I'm finally doing this Nadiah! :)

List ten fictional characters you would have sex with (in no particular order) and tag 5 people to do the same.

Joe from Bend It Like Beckham.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Mmmmm. He is just so uber yummy. :)
Joshua Ang's character in I Not Stupid 2!
Heheheheheh.
Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars Episode 3!
Ohmygosh. Talk about Hayden being a total droolsome bad boy.
Ryousuke Takahashi from Initial D.
Edison Chen is just too cute.. And he has a nice car in the movie. =D
Oliver Woods from Harry Potter!
There is just something about him.. :P
Shane West's character from A Walk To Remember.
Mhmm. That boy is just too gorgeous.
Mr. Smith from Mr. And Mrs. Smith!
Okay so I don't like Brad Pitt cos he ruined a perfectly good marriage. But he is so hot!
Duke from She's The Man!
OMG. Channing Tatum! Drool drool drool. Have you seen his abs!
Seth from the OC!
OMG. Adam Brody is just so hot. Mmmmmm. Droolworthy.
Lucas from One Tree Hill.
CHAD MICHEAL MURRAY! There's nothing more to say.

Okay. I actually did this Nad! And I will um. tag. uh. Clare! Fiona. And James. I can't think of anymore... So. whoever.

I'm a February Baby!

2006-07-07T23:54:00.000+08:00

WHAT KIND OF BABY ARE YOU?

---------------JANUARY BABY---------------
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

---------------FEBRUARY BABY ---------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

---------------MARCH BABY ---------------
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

---------------APRIL BABY ---------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

---------------MAY BABY ---------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

---------------JUNE BABY---------------
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

---------------JULY BABY ---------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

---------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

---------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

---------------OCTOBER BABY ---------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY---------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

---------------------------------------------

I got this off some random dude's blog. But it's hella accurate. I'm a February baby by the way.

TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE A TENNIS GIRL

2006-06-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE A TENNIS GIRL

1) We play it long and hard.
2) We don't mind if we sweat.
3) We handle the balls no problem.
4) We always start out with "Love".
5) We will work as long as needed
6) We wear mini skirts and tank tops.
7) We don't want it easy, hard is good.
8) We can play singles and doubles..
9) We wear skirts made specially for balls.
10) We use one hand or two.. whatever it takes.

Get your tickets from me!

2006-05-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

- - - - - - - - - -

A huge rock concert called YOUTH GONE WILD is happening on the 23rd June 2006!

Featuring:

Ronin

Lucid Vapour (performed at !Smash'd)

West Grand Boulevard (starring Daphne Khoo of Singapore Idol fame)

3dash1 (winners of the 2005 Straits Times School of Rock competition)

Typewriter

Velvet Rose (!Smash'd youth winners)

Hyperteria

Happening at: Whitley Secondary School

Date: 23rd June 2006 (Last Friday of the June school holidays!)

From: 6pm - 11pm

Tickets: $10 and you can get them from me! Wendy! Email me at popgurl99@gmail.com

Pig personality test

2006-05-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

Limin made me take this test. :) I had to draw a cute lil pig.

It was a personality test too, and pretty right I guess.

So here' my results!

Toward the middle, you are a realist.

Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.)

With few details, you are emotional and naive, they care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With 4 legs showing, they are secure, stubborn, and stick to their ideals.T

he size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are.The bigger the better. You drew small ears, you are an OK listener.

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. And again more is better! You drew medium sized tail.

Crush - Mandy Moore

2006-03-17T17:55:00.000+08:00

You know everything that I'm afraid of
You do everything I wish I did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you

I know I should tell you how i fell
I wish everyone would disappear
Every time time you call me, I'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to say

Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

You know, I'm the one that you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me thing that I don't want to know
I just want to hold you
And you say exactly how you feel about her
And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way

Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows
I've got a crush on you
A crush on you, I got a crush

You say everything that no one says
But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you
I've got a crush...

Sometimes the cheesiest songs say it best. :)

Leave me delirious

2006-03-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

"Shit." She whispered.

Your voice caresses my skin, sends my whole body into near orgasm. Yet, you're only whispering. I lay back shivering. Your hands tiptoe across my body, grazing my inner thigh, my navel, and the small of my back. Those wondrous hands, soft, yet calloused. I feel your hair as I tremble, feeling your burning gaze on my body. You make me wonder. I want to know your thoughts, your feelings. You look me in the eye and mouth the word beautiful. I know there's no turning back, I'm completely under your spell. Nothing I say, nothing I do, will change what I feel, for you, for now, forever. I close my eyes, and you leave me delirious.

First of the Final

2006-03-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

Brushing the dust off
the old white photo frame.
The speckled glass
covering the faded picture.
You didn't believe
that I'd be waiting.
When I murmured
you were my all,
standing tall,
refusing to look me in the eye.
You caressed the rose
cold on the table
between you and me.
Watching those brown shoes
kiss the floor
with every step.
Look back,
and you would have seen
the first of the final.
My tears for you.

The f***ing long quiz

2006-01-23T20:29:00.000+08:00

. : Basics : .
[ 001 ] first name: Wendy
[ 002 ] middle name: -
[ 003 ] last name: Tan
[ 004 ] nickname(s): Crazy; Wenwen;
[ 005 ] gender: female
[ 006 ] age: 16
[ 007 ] birthday: 28th feb 1990
[ 008 ] height: 5'4"
[ 009 ] hair color: blackish brown
[ 010 ] eye color: brown
[ 011 ] race: chinese! foo.
[ 012 ] do you wear glasses or contacts: both
[ 013 ] do you have braces: nope
[ 014 ] is your hair long or short: medium
[ 015 ] where were you born: Singapore
[ 016 ] current location: Singapore
[ 017 ] zodiac sign: Pisces
[ 018 ] how many languages do you know: 4! English, American, Singlish and Chinese.
[ 019 ] nationality: Singaporean!
[ 020 ] bad habits: I'm lazy as hell.
[ 021 ] piercings you have: none
[ 022 ] piercings you want: iono. belly button?
[ 023 ] tattoos you have: none
[ 024 ] tattoos you want: none
[ 025 ] today's date: 13 Dec 2006
[ 026 ] the time: 1am
[ 027 ] ready for a bunch more questions: you bet.

. : Family : .
[ 028 ] mother's name: Toh K.C
[ 029 ] father's name: Tan L.T
[ 030 ] step-parent's names, if any: -
[ 031 ] brother(s)'s name(s): Wei Ming
[ 032 ] sister(s)'s name(s): -
[ 033 ] favorite aunt: Auntie Jenny!
[ 034 ] favorite uncle: no real fave.
[ 035 ] favorite grandparent: maternal grandma
[ 036 ] worst relative: an uncle
[ 037 ] best relative: My cousin Melanie!
[ 038 ] do you get along with your parents: most of the time
[ 039 ] Does anyone in your family understand you?: depends on what it is.

. : Pets : .
[ 040 ] do you have any pets: -
[ 041 ] what are their names: -
[ 042 ] what kind of animals are they: -

. : School : .
[ 043 ] are you still in school: yes
[ 044 ] did you drop out: nope
[ 045 ] current gpa, or last gpa you got: 3
[ 046 ] favorite grade: 8th
[ 047 ] least favorite grade: none i think.
[ 048 ] favorite teacher: now? Ms. Ng!
[ 049 ] least favorite teacher: this chinese teacher from primary 2.
[ 050 ] favorite subject: iono. English?
[ 051 ] least favorite subject: Math
[ 052 ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: buy it.
[ 053 ] play any sports on the school's team: tennis? =/
[ 054 ] do/did you do any extracurricular ativities: of course
[ 055 ] are/was you popular: Not at all. I'm the school freak.
[ 056 ] favorite dance: the ones in cali. :)
[ 057 ] favorite memory: cantering in the surf on horseback in cali.
[ 058 ] least favorite dance: none.
[ 059 ] least favorite memory: that stupid chinese teacher in primary 2.
[ 060 ] most humiliating moment: when I fell in a crowded mall and exposed my panties when I was really young.

. : Favorites : .
[ 061 ] number: 4
[ 062 ] clothing brand: anything comfy and cute.
[ 063 ] shoes: Nike and Adidas.
[ 064 ] saying: haha.
[ 065 ] tv show: Desperate Housewives; Simple Life; One Tree Hill.
[ 066 ] sport: tennis, horseback riding.
[ 067 ] vegetable: potatoes
[ 068 ] fruit: green grapes; fuji apples; longans
[ 069 ] movie: Lion King!
[ 070 ] magazine: Seventeen
[ 071 ] actor: no one.
[ 072 ] actress: Catherine Zeta Jones.
[ 073 ] candy: Chocolate rules all.
[ 074 ] gum: fruity flavours
[ 075 ] scent: Cool by Polo Ralph Lauren on girls
[ 076 ] candy bar: Chocolate.
[ 077 ] ice cream flavor: Belgium chocolate.
[ 078 ] color: blue, red, green, yellow, black, white, & pink!
[ 079 ] season: autumn
[ 080 ] holiday: too many many places.
[ 081 ] band: Motley Crue. Rivermaya. Hinder.
[ 082 ] singer: craig david. gwen stefani. Linton Kwesi Johnson.
[ 083 ] group: many many.
[ 084 ] rapper: Ying Yang Twins.
[ 085 ] type of music: Jazz, rock, pop, hiphop, rap, R&B, cuban, bossa nova, dub poetry.
[ 086 ] thing in your room: pillows
[ 087 ] place to be: with friends.
[ 088 ] radio station: Perfect 10
[ 092 ] store: cheap and good stuff.
[ 093 ] shoe brand: Nike and Adidas?
[ 096 ] shape: huh. um. circle? star? heart?
[ 097 ] time of day: after school.
[ 098 ] country: Singapore.
[ 099 ] state: Cali
[ 100 ] boys name: James Matthew!
[ 101 ] girls name: WENDY!
[ 102 ] mall: Parkway! =D
[ 103 ] video game: none
[ 105 ] board game: monopoly!
[ 106 ] computer game: none
[ 107 ] car: something hot and fast.
[ 108 ] music video: none right now
[ 109 ] swear word: I censor myself.
[ 110 ] word: heyy
[ 111 ] month: February
[ 112 ] cartoon character: Wendy from Peter Pan
[ 113 ] scary movie: jap ones
[ 114 ] team: none
[ 115 ] possession: purse

. : What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear : .
[ 116 ] eminem: ass like that
[ 117 ] dog: randy jackson
[ 118 ] hot: singapore
[ 119 ] britney spears: slut who can't sing
[ 120 ] nsync: justin's afro. that was gross.
[ 121 ] real world: mtv.
[ 122 ] orange: juice
[ 123 ] choice: made?
[ 124 ] fuck: me. XD
[ 125 ] bisexual: interesting choice.
[ 126 ] black: short skirt.
[ 127 ] icq: rapes
[ 128 ] insane clown posse: Levan.
[ 129 ] linkin park: so over
[ 130 ] jack: guys
[ 131 ] rainbow: are pretty
[ 132 ] cherry: maschino!
[ 133 ] cucumber: eyes
[ 134 ] shark: tale
[ 135 ] lifehouse: you and me
[ 136 ] bat: girl!
[ 137 ] leather: whip
[ 138 ] whip: shuuuucks.
[ 139 ] america: fattening
[ 140 ] water: is transparent and cheap
[ 141 ] volcano: hawaii

. : This or that (YOU MUST ANSWER!!): .
[ 142 ] rock or rap: both
[ 143 ] rock or pop: Rock
[ 144 ] rock or R&B: Rock
[ 145 ] rock or metal: Rock
[ 146 ] rap or pop: Rap
[ 147 ] rap or r&b: Rap
[ 148 ] rap or metal: Rap
[ 149 ] pop or r&b: R&B
[ 150 ] pop or metal: Pop
[ 151 ] r&b or metal: R&B
[ 152 ] linkin park or limp bizkit: Linkin Park
[ 153 ] tool or korn: tool
[ 154 ] selena or jennifer lopez: Selena
[ 155 ] hot or cold: Cold
[ 156 ] winter or summer: Winter
[ 157 ] spring or fall: Fall
[ 158 ] shakira or britney: Shakira
[ 159 ] icp or eminem: Eminem
[ 160 ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: Neither
[ 161 ] kittie or garbage: Garbage
[ 162 ] mtv or vh1: MTV
[ 163 ] buffy or angel: Buffy
[ 164 ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: Gilmore Ggirls!
[ 165 ] football or basketball: football
[ 166 ] summer olympics or winter olympics: winter
[ 167 ] skiing or snowboarding: Snowboarding
[ 168 ] rollarblading or skateboarding: Skateboarding
[ 169 ] black or white: Black
[ 170 ] orange or red: Red
[ 171 ] yellow or green: Green
[ 172 ] purple or pink: Pink
[ 173 ] slipknot or mudvayne: Neither
[ 174 ] hot topic or pac sun: Pac Sun
[ 175 ] inside or outside: Both
[ 176 ] weed or alcohol: Alcohol
[ 177 ] cell phone or pager: Cell
[ 178 ] pen or pencil: Pencil
[ 179 ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: Charlie's Angels
[ 180 ] scooby doo or dino: Scooby!
[ 181 ] dragon ball z or pokemon: Pokemon!
[ 182 ] star wars or star trek: Star Wars !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ 183 ] tattoos or piercings: piercings
[ 185 ] slut or whore: both! heh.

. : Private life : .
[ 186 ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: No
[ 187 ] do you have a crush: Yes
[ 188 ] do you love anyone right now: No
[ 189 ] have you ever been in love: Yes
[ 190 ] how many people of you kissed: Quite a few.
[ 191 ] who was your first kiss: My mom.
[ 192 ] how many hearts of have you broken: like 14. >.< Possibly more that I don't know of. [ 193 ] how many people broke your heart: One.
[ 194 ] best quote to sum up love: BLARGH.
[ 195 ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: smart, athletic, very very funny.
[ 196 ] do you have a picture of him/her: Yeah
[ 197 ] please post it if you do: HELL NO.
[ 198 ] do you have a picture of yourself: OF COURSE
[ 199 ] please post it if you do: NO WAY
[ 200 ] do you go by looks or personality: Personality
[ 201 ] ever kiss a friend: yeah.
[ 202 ] are you still friends: yeah
[ 203 ] so moving along..do you smoke: no
[ 204 ] do you smoke weed: no
[ 205 ] ever trip on acid: no
[ 206 ] how about a little x: no
[ 207 ] crack, heroin, anything else: no
[ 208 ] beer good or beer bad: bad bad bad
[ 209 ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: i love wine
[ 210 ] do you like smirnoff ice: nope
[ 211 ] prefer beer or liquor: liquor
[ 212 ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: I don't
[ 213 ] are you a virgin: yes
[ 214 ] if no, when was the last time you got some: -

. : Would you ever : .
[ 215 ] bungee jump: maybe
[ 216 ] sky dive: maybe
[ 217 ] swim with dolphins: yes
[ 218 ] scuba dive: yes
[ 219 ] go rock climbing: sure
[ 220 ] eat shit for $1,000,000: no
[ 221 ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no
[ 222 ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: no
[ 224 ] lie to the police: no
[ 225 ] run from the police: no
[ 226 ] lie to your parents: yes
[ 227 ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: if he was hot enough
[ 228 ] be an exotic dancer: depends on the pay
[ 229 ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: no
[ 230 ] streak: never

. : Your friends : .
[ 231 ] best friend: now? Sar & Nad.
[ 232 ] known longest: Nadia Samdin
[ 233 ] wish you talked to more: Quite a lot of people
[ 234 ] wish you saw more: Almost everyone!
[ 235 ] how many friends do you think you have: Quite a few
[ 237 ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: uh. Nick. All my good friends!
[ 238 ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': Nope
[ 239 ] craziest: All my friends are crazy.
[ 240 ] loudest: Nadiah!
[ 241 ] shyest: A few of them
[ 242 ] best hair: Some guys. Some girls.
[ 243 ] can always make you laugh: Sar! Nad! Nick! Shengwei! All of them!
[ 246 ] most athletic: Sar? Jack? Bharat?
[ 247 ] sex symbol: um.
[ 250 ] shortest: NADIAH! XD But Mas is a close competitor! =D
[ 251 ] tallest: my cousin Mark. (195cm!!!)
[ 252 ] talented: All of them
[ 253 ] best singer: Sar
[ 254 ] skinniest: uh. Zi Ye!
[ 255 ] nicest: All of them!
[ 256 ] best personality: ME! haha all of them!
[ 257 ] biggest drug user: no one.

. : Have you ever : .
[ 259 ] told the person you liked how you felt: yeah
[ 260 ] been to michigan: iono
[ 261 ] gotten really REALLY wasted: no
[ 262 ] gone to jail or juvi: no
[ 263 ] skateboarded: tried
[ 264 ] skinny dipped: no
[ 265 ] stolen anything: yeah
[ 266 ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: YES
[ 267 ] kicked someone's ass: yes
[ 268 ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: yes
[ 269 ] broke a beer bottle: no
[ 270 ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: of course
[ 271 ] kissed someone of the same sex: not on the lips
[ 275 ] been to a concert: yes
[ 276 ] been to another country: yes
[ 277 ] talked back to an adult: yes
[ 278 ] got pulled over: no
[ 279 ] got in a car accident: no
[ 280 ] broke a law: a few. >.<
[ 281 ] given money to a homeless person: yes
[ 282 ] tried to kill yourself: no
[ 283 ] cried to get out of trouble: yes
[ 284 ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: no
[ 285 ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: no
[ 286 ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways: nope

. : Opinions : .
[ 287 ] what do you think about pop music: I like it
[ 288 ] about boy bands: Love 'em.
[ 289 ] about flag burning: disrespectful. but very symbolic.
[ 290 ] of the war on terrorists: violent
[ 292 ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: shuddup stupid
[ 293 ] about abortion: pro-choice
[ 294 ] about rock/metal music: rock is good. metal is bad.
[ 295 ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: working hopefully.
[ 296 ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: uh. honestly. iono.

. : What did you do : .
[ 297 ] last birthday: movie with Sar and Clare
[ 298 ] yesterday: Go to school, go out for lunch.
[ 299 ] last weekend: Shop, eat.
[ 300 ] christmas: Sail.
[ 301 ] thanksgiving: Go to school.
[ 302 ] new year's eve: Lie in bed sick
[ 303 ] halloween: Go to school
[ 304 ] easter: Go to school
[ 305 ] valentine's day: Mope that I can't have him.

. : the last : .
[ 306 ] thing you ate: dinner
[ 307 ] thing you drank: water
[ 308 ] thing you wore: shorts and a tank top
[ 309 ] place you went: NAC with Shengwei
[ 310 ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: That airbrush tattoo on my hip! =)
[ 311 ] person you saw: dad
[ 312 ] person you kissed: heh. someone famous.
[ 313 ] person you fucked: noone
[ 314 ] person you talked to: dad
[ 315 ] song you heard: Lips of an Angel - Hinder

. : Now : .
[ 316 ] what are you eating: nothing
[ 317 ] what are you drinking: nothing
[ 318 ] what are you wearing: shorts and tee
[ 319 ] any shoes on: no
[ 320 ] hair: falling all over my shoulders
[ 321 ] listening to: Not Pretty Enough - Kasey Chambers
[ 322 ] talking to anyone: yeah.
[ 323 ] are you pissed i made this so long: nope

. : Yes or no : .
[ 324 ] are you a vegetarian: no
[ 325 ] do you like cows: yeah
[ 326 ] are you a bitch: yes
[ 327 ] are you artistic: no
[ 328 ] do you write poetry: yes
[ 329 ] are you a fast runner: no
[ 330 ] can you ski: no
[ 331 ] are you british: no
[ 332 ] do you want to spear britney: no
[ 333 ] do the voices talk to you: sometimes!
[ 334 ] did you ever give barbie a haircut: yes
[ 335 ] would you eat mac &cheese with hot dogs in it: no
[ 336 ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland': yep
[ 337 ] are you straight: yes
[ 338 ] are you 1/2stupid, 1/4insane, and another 1/4physically handicapped: uh.no.
[ 339 ] are you fat: yes
[ 340 ] are you skinny: no
[ 341 ] are you short: no
[ 342 ] are you tall: no
[ 343 ] do you own a hot pink shirt: yes
[ 344 ] how about orange pants: no
[ 345 ] can you see the flying monkeys: YES
[ 346 ] are you evil: maybe
[ 347 ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: no
[ 351 ] do you like marilyn manson: no
[ 352 ] are you secretly from another planet: of course
[ 354 ] do you shop at hot topic: i have stuff from there...

. : Random questions : .
[ .355. ] if you could be any animal, what would you be: DOLPHIN. or a HORSE. or a Cat.
[ .356. ] if you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be: CHOCOLATE.
[ .357. ] do you remember any of your dreams: a few
[ .358. ] do you dream in color or black and white: color
[ .359. ] do you admit when you need help with a problem: sometimes
[ .360. ] can people read you like a book: ask them
[ .361. ] what's your biggest fear: dono
[ .362. ] do you talk a lot: with good friends <3
[ .364. ] do you like spiders: hell no
[ .365. ] how about grape kool-aid: no
[ .366. ] can you drive: no
[ .367. ] are you spoiled: yes
[ .368. ] are you anti-social: not at all
[ .369. ] do you see dumb people: ...
[ .371. ] any last words: I love hugs. =)
[ .372. ] now that this is over, what are you going to do: wouldn't you want to know

Caught in between

2005-12-14T22:30:00.000+08:00

Wasting my time
Watching the cars go by
Nothing's close to fine
Don't wanna close my eyes
Matching me word for word
Leaving me stranded
Flying high like the birds
Pinch me please
Look at me, please
Your eyes dragging across my body
Pain searing deep
Caught in between.

The world goes on by

2005-12-08T20:59:00.000+08:00

Glancing out the bus window, she notices an old man with downy white hair covering his balding head sitting at the bus stop. Acting nonchalent, his eyes flit around, checking if anyone is near. He then raises his pinky finger, shoves it into his nostril, and pulling it out again an instant later.

The bus moves on, her head rests on her palm. A bird quizzically pecks at the plastic NTUC bag covering the large jack fruit hanging heavily from the swooping branch.

She shifts in her seat, stretching her legs, feeling very much like a feline, then folding them up. She looks around the bus, the bus is crowded, but not too. She hunches her spine ever so slightly. Her shoulders seem to sag, her head droops by milimetres. It's as if she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Her head lifts,
and the world goes on by.

Inducing the Melancholy

2005-12-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

sitting there
watching the door
the blinds swing in the breeze
there's no feeling left to be felt
don't leave
waiting for the sky to turn purple
kneeling there
grasping for the edge
clutching the breaths
whispering wishes fighting for sound
i try and try
tears crawling past the dusty surface
swirling curtains
inducing the melancholy
please come home

Destruction

2005-12-06T18:29:00.000+08:00

jumping up and down
pounding the walls
bouncing off the ceiling
marching past the doors
smashing the windows
warring with the lights
mocking the curtains
shooting the tables
wrecking the chairs
slitting the wires
and it all falls DOWN.

From father to son

2005-11-15T15:16:00.000+08:00

Dear son...

The day that you see me old and I am already not,
Have patience and try to understand me...

If I get dirty when eating...
If I can not dress...
Have patience.
Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.

If, when I speak to you,
I repeat the same things thousand and one times...
Do not interrupt me...
Listen to me.

When you were small,
I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep...

When I do not want to have a shower,
Neither shame me nor scold me...

Remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented,
In order to get you to bathe...

When you see my ignorance on new technologies…
Give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile...

I taught you how to do so many things...
To eat good, to dress well...
To confront life...

When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our conversation...
Let me have the necessary time to remember...
And if I cannot do it, do not become nervous...
As the most important thing is not my conversation
But surely to be with you and to have you listening to me...

If ever I do not want to eat,
Do not force me.
I know well when I need to and when not.

When my tired legs do not allow me walk...
Give me your hand...
The same way I did when you gave your first steps.

And when someday I say to you that I do not want to live any more...
That I want to die...
Do not get angry...
Some day you will understand...

Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived.

Some day you will discover that,
Despite my mistakes,
I always wanted the best thing for you
And that I tried to prepare the way for you.

You must not feel sad,
Angry or impotent for seeing me near you.
You must be next to me,
Try to understand me
And to help me as I did it when you started living.

Help me to walk...
Help me to end my way with love and patience.
I will pay you by a smile
And by the immense love I have had always for you.

I love you son.

Your father

the depressing entry about 1e'05

2005-11-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

Oh man. This is uber depressing. I'm looking at all my older entries on my other blog. And talking to Sar. Reminiscing. I depress myself. I honestly hate changing class.

Ima miss 1E'05 so bad.

Ima miss sitting next to Sar, with Nadiah and Eugene right behind me. Ima miss having Sar helping me with my math, cos I never get it. Ima miss doodling and writing nonsense on postcards and postits with Sar. Ima miss falling asleep on my window seat with Sar waking me up later. Ima miss talking back to Mr. Tan with Sar. Ima miss bitching with Sar. Ima miss gossiping with Sar. Ima miss dissing people with Sar. Ima miss just talking to Sar all the time cos she sat beside me. Ima miss eating Subway in the library while waiting for Nad to finish her Malay class so we could all go for our integrated subjects.

Ima miss talking to Nad. Ima miss doing stuff on the couch with Nad. Ima miss being super hyper with Nad. Ima miss posing with the pole with Nad. Ima miss camwhoring with Nad. Ima miss you teasing me mucho about Zafir. (So untrue) Ima miss bitching with Nad. Ima miss gossiping with Nad. Ima miss playing with the rabbit with Nad. Ima miss the time we had at KFC when you went i'm leaking! Ima miss playing I never!

Ima miss all 3 of us teasing Eugene and laughing. Ima miss going for the VS EMD with Sar and Nad. Ima miss the fun time we had at the TA fun night. Ima miss stoning in classes. Ima miss the times when all 3 of us get so high. Ima miss when all of us washed the rabbit cage for the first time. Ima miss all 3 of us being period sisters. Ima miss the times when we took jumping shots with Syak and Jane. Ima miss acting out Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice with Nad, Sar, Eugene, Isaac, and Kenneth. "Oh Bassanio! You would go through torture for me?! You must love me!" Ima miss just hanging out after school complaining about the whole day. Ima miss college clean up. Ima miss dancing in class to Blow (by Parkin' Lot Pimp). Ima miss our CG lunches with Canadian Pizza, and Syak calling up that pizza guy to flirt and get free drinks. Ima miss all of us grumbling whenever we had to run for PE in the hot sun.

I'm looking at all the photographs of us. And it makes me sad. That we'll never come together as a class again.

Blah. I only know how to depress myself. I need to talk to someone. Like in person. And I need hugs.

Colours

2005-11-12T11:19:00.000+08:00

colours;
are like the wind washing over your body
alongside the sandy tasting ocean
bringing the giddiness of the wandering sky
running in the fields
filled not with top heavy flowers
but stumbling on the rocks
tripping over the earthworms
brushing past the shooting weeds
formulating their next younglings
flowing past the misty swamp thing
marching under the flying fleeing fish
gaining on the downhill cart
screaming with glee
colours are you and me.

Shyness

2005-11-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

exploring the depths
slowly entering
be gentle please
the flushing
the blushing
rumpled cloth
resting on the floor
passion overflowing
bursting the barriers
the shyness of it all